


I’m not who I used to be

by Robron_emmerdale



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-31
Updated: 2018-01-31
Packaged: 2019-03-11 17:57:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13529577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Robron_emmerdale/pseuds/Robron_emmerdale
Summary: Robert’s planning on leaving the village after confessing the truth about Jack which no one believes. Can anyone stop him?*in this rebeccas pregnancy ended up being a lie to break them up*





	I’m not who I used to be

He didn’t want to do it. He didn’t want to destroy all the good memories Diane and Victoria had left of Jack but hearing them say how proud he’d be of his kids he couldn’t hold the emotion in any longer. He expected them to be upset. He expected the tears and the shouting but one thing he didn’t expect was them both to call him a liar and completely turn on him. 

Diane and Victoria was all he had left. Aaron is in a new relationship with Alex, Liv seems to enjoy them being together. He’s on his own. One stupid night with Rebecca ruined his whole marriage and his life, even after it came out she wasn’t pregnant he still didn’t get it back. Everyone belittled Rebecca for leading on someone like she did but it wasn’t long before everyone started speaking to her again. 

 

Robert’s in the portacabin up at the scrapyard trying to distract himself. He’s currently staying at a hotel in town until he find’s a place to live away from the village. He’s managed to convince Nicola and Jimmy to buy his share of the haulage firm but told them to keep it quiet. They agreed on the condition he finishes paperwork he already start so that’s what he’s doing. 

Aaron walks into the portacabin with Gerry who is buzzing over the fact Aaron has started to pay him for working there. 

“You look rough” Gerry commented. Robert just ignored Gerry because despite the fact Gerry didn’t bother him he wasn’t in the mood for confrontation. 

“Gerry why don’t you make yourself useful and go and finish the car you was supposed to finish yesterday?” Aaron suggested. Gerry was about to speak when gave him a glare - the glare he knows he should never refuse. He left the portacabin and Aaron sighed. 

“How you doing?” Aaron asked softly. Robert looked up and frowned. 

“How do you think? I finally tell my family  
the truth and they don’t believe me. So guess what? My Dad still wins even though he’s dead” Robert snapped. 

“Sorry. Stupid question” Aaron muttered. Robert sighed. 

“No I’m sorry. I don’t mean to take it on you. You were the only one who actually believed me” Robert said softly. 

“I know you too well Robert to know you wouldn’t make up something like that” Aaron replied. 

“So why don’t they believe me? I’ve hurt you so much, you’ve seen the worst side of me yet you believe me. If my own family can’t believe me when I tell them something like that then what sort of person does that make me?” Robert asked irritated. Aaron sighed. 

“Robert you’re not in the wrong here. You told them the truth but it’s their choice to believe you or not.” Aaron said. He wanted Robert to know he’s not alone and not everyone think’s he’s lying but how can he comfort Robert the way he wants to? He’s in another relationship. 

 

“I should of just kept my mouth shut” Robert muttered and sighed. 

“No you shouldn’t. Remember when I got scared over Gordon’s performance in court? You told me I was stronger then him. That goes for you too” Aaron replied softly. 

“But I’m not am I? I’m not strong and I never will be” Robert said sadly. 

“Robert whatever you’re feeling right now it will pass. I promise you one day they’ll realise they were wrong and you’ll be happy again” Aaron replied softly. 

“But I won’t will I? I don’t have the energy to fight this anymore” Robert said looking down. 

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Aaron asked confused. Robert sighed and looked up at Aaron. 

“It means I’ve got no fight left in me anymore Aaron. I don’t have the energy to prove I’m not a liar. I’ve got nothing left for me here anymore” Robert said struggling to hold back the tears. 

 

“R-robert this is your home” Aaron replied. 

“No it’s not. It’s never going to be home anymore. What exactly is left for me here? My own family hate me. I managed to break your heart and loose you. Liv hates me which actually hurts me more then anyone thinks. Rebecca managed to ruin my life and everyone still smiles at her. So what exactly is left for me here Aaron?” Robert shouted. 

“Robert don’t do this. Please” Aaron begged. 

“It’s done Aaron. My dad? He wins again. Rebecca? She wins I’ve lost it all. You’ve got Alex who’s perfect for ya. Liv loves him. So whatever life I had here is gone and by tomorrow none of you will need to worry about that” Robert said and stormed out. Aaron sighed not knowing whether running after Robert was the best idea. 

Gerry walked into the portacabin ten minutes later to see Aaron staring into space. 

“Fancy a brew?” Gerry asked. Aaron looked up at the teen. 

“N-no can you do me a favour?” Aaron replied. 

“You want the place to yourself so you and Alex can get it on?” Gerry joked. Aaron frowned. 

“No. Keep an eye on the scrapyard for about an hour?” Aaron replied. 

“You’re trusting me to keep it hanging on?” Gerry said attempting to joke. 

“There’s something I need to do. Just don’t mess about” Aaron said and quickly ran out. 

 

In the pub Victoria and Diane are sat talking with Chas, Alex and Liv about everything. It’s public knowledge after Victoria shamed Robert in the pub for talking bad about their Dad who was no longer their to defend himself. 

“I just don’t understand why he’s doing this” Victoria said upset. 

“Because he’s Robert. It’s what he does” Chas piped up. Liv looked at Chas in disgust. She hasn’t talked about Robert since it all came out because she doesn’t know what to say. She hate’s him for what he did to Aaron but she can’t help but feel Robert’s right. She know’s him well enough now to know when he’s lying. 

“Saying that about your own Dad though? My Jack was a wonderful father” Diane said annoyed. 

“He’s just a disgusting person. I see so many people in hospital traumatised by that sort of thing and he makes it up? Aaron’s better off away from him” Alex said. Chas nodded. 

“Y-you don’t know he’s lying” Liv commented nervously. 

“Come on love this is Robert we’re talking about. Lying is his middle name” Chas replied. Alex let out a little laugh which annoyed Liv. 

“But why now? After all these years why is he just saying it now if it’s true?” Victoria asked. 

“He’s probably wants someone to feel sorry for him. Since I’ve been here I’ve never once seen him with friends” Alex said. 

“Robert doesn’t do friends. He’s more happy with family” Liv said in defence. 

“And because no one wants to be his friend” Chas slipped out. 

“And who said he doesn’t have any friends?” A voice said. Everyone turned to see Aaron standing there. 

“Aaron love we were jus-“

“Talking about Robert. Yeah I know” Aaron said. 

“We didn’t mean to be nasty” Alex said. 

“You know he’s leaving don’t ya?” Aaron said annoyed. 

“Good. After what he said about my Dad I don’t want to look at him” Victoria piped up. 

“He’s not lying. I don’t care what you lot think of him but he isn’t lying and I can promise you that now” Aaron said as he walked over to the bar. 

“You’d believe anything he told ya” Chas said irritated by her son defending the person who broke his heart. 

“No I wouldn’t. But I know if Robert’s lying and I know he’s not lying about this” Aaron pointed out. 

“Aaron calm down” Alex said calmly. 

“No I won’t. You don’t even know Robert so how can you sit here slagging him off?” Aaron said looking at Alex annoyed. 

“I know enough to know he hurt’s everyone. He put your sister in hospital and even hurt you” Alex said. 

“So from my sister being in hospital and me not being with him anymore you know so much about him?” Aaron asked amused. 

“Don’t take it out on him Aaron. It’s Robert that’s the problem here” Chas piped up. 

“No he isn’t. You lot are. Sat here slagging him off whilst he’s sat up at the scrapyard thinking he has nothing left anymore” Aaron said annoyed. The Whites walked in seeing the commotion. 

“I bet this is about Robert” Rebecca whispered. 

“Well someone has to defend him don’t they?” Chrissie replied amused. 

“So come on what exactly has Robert got to do for you lot to believe him?” Aaron asked. 

“I was there. I knew my husband” Diane said. 

“Yeah and I know mine. He isn’t lying” Aaron said unaware what he had said. 

“He isn’t your husband anymore Aaron” Alex said. 

“Shut up Alex. This has nothing to do with you” Aaron said. 

“You’re my boyfriend and you chose to be with me so whatever happens in your life is my business” Alex said calmly. 

“But I didn’t choose you did I? I chose Robert” Aaron blurred out. Everyone looked at Aaron in shock but he didn’t care no more. He needed to get all this out even if it meant he’d loose everyone too. 

“Sorry?” Alex asked confused. 

“I went to that hospital to choose Robert but he chose to let me go. That’s why I started things with you” Aaron said. Alex stood up. 

“Well I guess that’s put me in my place hasn’t it? Bye Aaron” Alex said and stormed out. 

“Aaron you idiot. Go after him” Chas said annoyed. 

“No I won’t. Not until you lot realise how badly you’ve hurt Robert” Aaron said annoyed. 

“Aaron this is on him. I’ve defended him a lot but I can’t defend him for this” Victoria said softly. 

“But you haven’t have ya Vic? You’ve always chose other people’s sides over his” Aaron replied. 

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Victoria asked. 

“Well look at this way Vic, Andy who isn’t even blood always care first didn’t he. Even when Rebecca was faking her pregnancy you only cared aboht her” Aaron said. 

“Don’t bring me into this” Rebecca piped up. 

“Oh shut up you desperate tart. I bet you’re loving this aren’t ya?” Aaron said facing Rebecca. 

“It’s not me who’s sick enough to lie about a dead man” Rebecca replied. 

“You faked a pregnancy Rebecca. Your sister killed three people and your nephew is a sex offender who also shot his grandad yet you lot all have audacity to judge Robert?” Aaron said annoyed. The Whites just sat in shock unable to say anything. Aaron was right wasn’t he? 

“Aaron pet-“

“I don’t want to hear anymore. The lot of you are seriously making me sick the way you’re all sat there slagging him off without even hearing him out probably. If Robert leaves and doesn’t come back that’s on you lot and I’ll never forgive any of you for that” Aaron said and stormed out. Chas sighed. 

“Great him defending Robert is exactly what I need” Chas said. 

“He was telling the truth though” Liv piped up. She tried to stay quiet but even now she was irritated by everyone. 

“But it just doesn’t make sense. If it happened when he was 15 why tell us now?” Victoria asked confused. 

“Aaron went 16 years before he told anyone about our Dad but no one doubted him. So why should Robert be any different?” Liv said and made her way out of the pub. 

 

Robert’s sat at the cricket pavilion needing some air and space. It’s not that often people come here so he knows if he needs to think he can always come here. 

“Are you not cold?” A voice said. Robert turned to see Liv standing there. 

“You know me. I don’t do cold” Robert joked. Liv let out a little smile as she took a seat next to Robert. 

“So how’ve you been?” Liv asked. Robert sighed. 

“Not great. But what did I expect eh?” Robert replied softly. 

“Aaron’s just gone off at everyone in the pub for defending you” Liv said. 

“I didn’t ask him to do that if that’s why you’re here” Robert said. He didn’t want anyone fighting his battles because he didn’t want the fight anymore. He’s tired and he’s done in. 

“No I know you didn’t. He just didn’t want to hear anyone talking about you like they were. He even went off on Alex” Liv said softly. 

“Oh god. I didn’t mean to cause an argument between them” Robert groaned. 

“It was more of an argument. I don’t think we’ll be seeing him again” Liv replied. 

“And that’s why you’re here? To blame me for it?” Robert asked looking at Liv. 

“No. I knew it was gonna happen their hardly made for each other are they?” Liv attempted to joke but even Robert wasn’t smiling. Maybe he really has given up. 

“I believe you Robert” Liv said softly. Robert looked down. 

“Really?” He asked quietly. 

“Y-yeah I do. I know you well enough to know you’d never lie about something like this” Liv said softly. 

“Shame my family don’t think the same” Robert said and stood up. 

“Where you going?” Liv asked. 

“I need to finish packing for tomorrow. It won’t pack itself” Robert said and walked away. Liv watched as Robert walked away unable to process it. This is Robert Sugden. The smug businessman who never cared what anyone thought who doesn’t even have energy to fight anymore. She doesn’t even recognise him anymore and that’s all down to people not believing him. 

 

The next day Liv’s walking through the village when she spot’s Victoria placing bags outside her house. She walks over slowly hoping and praying she’s not pushing Robert even further away. 

“Having a car boot sale?” Liv joked. Victoria looked up. 

“No Robert text to let me know he left some stuff here aswell as his passport which he need’s so I’ve shoved everything into bag’s. I’m not sorting it out” Victoria replied. 

“So he’s really leaving then?” Liv said nervously. 

“I guess so. It’s not as if we all want him here though is it? He’s hurt enough people” Vic said and made her way back inside. Liv quickly looked over her shoulder to make sure no one was watching before rummaging through all the black bags. She needed to find his passport so he didn’t go. She hates him for hurting Aaron but she can’t let him go feeling the way he is. 

After searching through all the bags she finally found it. 

“You’re going nowhere” she whispered and quickly put it in her pocket before walking off. 

 

Aaron’s sat in the pub nursing a pint unable to deal with what’s happened. He loves Robert but he know’s when Robert wants to do something he’ll do it. He can’t stop him because he doesn’t have that choice anymore. Chas isn’t happy over him and Alex breaking up but he knew it had to happen. He didn’t want Alex and he never has. 

 

Liv walks into the pub and sits beside Aaron. 

“Alright?” She asked. 

“I will be if I could go one day without hearing them lot call Robert every name under the sun” Aaron said and sighed. 

“He’s not lying is he?” Liv said quietly. Aaron shook his head. 

“But it’s not our opinion that matters is it? We believe him but noone else does and now he’s leaving” Aaron replied sadly. 

“He won’t get too far without his passport” Liv said. 

“That’s probably the first thing he got ready” Aaron replied. Liv got the passport out and Aaorn frowned. 

“How’ve you got that?” Aaron asked confused. 

“That would be telling. Put it this way he won’t be leaving anytime soon” Liv said proudly. Aaron smiled at his sister. 

 

An hour later Aaron walks out of the pub with Liv to see everyone watching a commotion between Robert and Victoria. They walk over. 

“What’s going on?” Liv asked. 

“Just Robert getting what he deserves” Rebecca comment. 

“Just shut up you stupid cow” Robert shouted. 

“Don’t talk to her like that. This is your fault” Victoria said annoyed. 

“Yes whatever. Now can I have it?” Robert replied. He didn’t want the fight he just wanted to leave. 

“How many times? I put it in the bags” Victoria said. 

“Well it’s not there” Robert replied. 

“Well look again.” Victoria said defensively. 

“Vic my flight leaves in three hours. Just give me the passport so I can leave” Robert said calmly. 

“I’ve got it” Liv said. Everyone looked at at Liv. 

“W-what? Why?” Robert asked confused. 

“Because I can’t let you go like this Robert.” Liv said. Victoria rolled her eyes. 

“Look Liv i-“

“No I don’t care what you want now. I don’t care if you’ve hurt people or you’ve lied in the past. I can’t let you leave without them lot hearing you out and I certainly won’t let you leave with everyone calling you liar” Liv said. Aaron smiled at Liv watching as she defended Robert. He’s thankful she’s got Robert’s back on this one. 

“Liv just give it him” Victoria said and rolled her eyes. 

“Robert’s a liar. Robert hurts people and destroys lives” Liv said. 

“Yeah they know that Liv” Robert piped up. 

“But he’s not lying about this. When does Robert lie? When he needs to hide his own wrong doings. He ruins people when they’ve hurt him or someone he cares about but lying about this? What exactly would he get out of it? Jack isn’t here anymore and hasn’t been for ages. He only told you all because you kept going on about how amazing and proud Jack would be. So what exactly would Robert get out of lying years down the line?” Liv said in defence. No one could speak not because they agreed with Liv but because it’s boring repeating themselves over and over again. 

“Why don’t you all get back to whatever you do and stop watching the show?” Liv said. Everyone sighed and began walking away. Victoria stayed firm in her spot because he wasn’t going to give up. 

“You’re his sister. The one person he shouldn’t have to explain himself to. Why are you letting him go like this?” Liv asked. 

“My Dad was a good man. He wouldn’t hurt his kids” Victoria snapped. 

“What because he never hurt you? My dad never touched me doesn’t mean Aaron was a liar though does it?” Liv replied. 

“That’s different” Victoria said. 

“How exactly is it different? Physically it is but emotionally it’s no different. They both had Dad’s who hurt them and affected them but never touched their sister. So how is it different Vic?” Liv piped up. 

“I’m not explaining myself to a teenager” Victoria said. 

“No you mean you don’t have an answer. Robert has always had your back even when you didn’t deserve it. The least you could do is hear him out” Liv replied. 

“I’ll do no such thing” Victoria said defensively. 

“Then go back inside. If you really can’t stand by him now then you don’t deserve him as a brother. You’ve already lost one brother are you seriously going to let yourself loose another?” Liv asked. Victoria sighed and walked away. 

“Can I please have it now? You’ve said what you needed to say” Robert pleaded. 

“No you can’t. I’m not letting you leave” Liv said. 

“There’s nothing left for me here anymore” Robert said softly. 

“Yeah there is” Aaron piped up. Robert looked at Aaron. 

“You’ve got us. You always will” Aaron said softly. Liv smiled, she knew Aaron could persuade Robert and decided to leave them to it. 

“I’ll be in the pub when you’re finished” Liv said and began walking away. 

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Robert shouted. 

“I’ll find a lighter to burn your passport don’t worry” she replied she continued walking. Robert sighed. 

“She’s too stubborn that one. Can tell she’s your sister” Robert joked. Aaron laughed. 

“Yeah but atleast she’s got brains eh?” Aaron said. Robert smiled. 

“Don’t go. Please” Aaron said softly. 

“I-i have to Aaron. Being here is too much” Robert replied. 

“Robert I’m giving you a reason to stay here. I don’t want you to go. I want you to stay. With me” Aaron said. 

“Aaron i-“

“No Robert. I chose you that day in the hospital but you told me you was letting me go so I had to lie so I didn’t look an idiot. I don’t care if we’ve got thirty more break ups and makes up coming our way. The only thing I care about is you and if I have to frame you for something so you can’t leave the country then I’ll do it” Aaron said. 

“Really?” Robert asked. Aaron nodded. 

“I’d hurt you again Aaron” Robert said quietly. 

“And I’ll do the same to you probably. But I’d rather take that chance then watch you walk away undefeated thinking noone cares” Aaron replied softly. 

“But what about Vic and Diane?” Robert asked. 

“What about them? I’ll fight it every single day for ya for them to believe ya if I have to. But I won’t watch you walk away” Aaron replied. 

“But I-“ Robert was interrupted as he felt his lips crash with Aarons. He pulled away with a smile. 

“I guess that’s one way to shut me up?” Robert joked. 

“You’re staying. You’re coming home and being with us. Screw what the world things because right now it’s going to be us against the world” Aaron said. Robert smiled as he kissed Aaron again. 

No one believes him but Aaron and Liv which kills him every single day. He has these two to help him get through it now and one day he’s hoping everyone will believe him.


End file.
